Okay so I came back from the farm a few days ago and I've been so busy since then. The first thing I did when I got home was take a long hot shower, than snuggle up below my blanket for what felt like the best nap, ever. I got to talk to W, and I haven't talked to him in SO long. I missed his advice, it was nice to talk to an old friend. He gave me alot to think about on the topic of being shy, and did this sort of "role-play" deal, where we faked being strangers. It worked a little bit. He told me that I should see it as I have nothing to lose, and he's right. He told me that if I attempted to talk to someone, and they just acted like complete dickhole, then they just aren't worth it.
A police car is parked up my street shining a light on my porch telling my sister's friends to get off our porch. wtf.
Uhm. Okay so anyways. I really want someone to cuddle with. Someone that can make me laugh until I cry. :( I don't want to be alone any more. But I can't stand the thought of depending on someone. I just want to share everything.
Today I skipped out early since the teacher was gone, and I got home and hung out with kaylee, evan, asa, and ian. Oh so obnoxious those three are. Asa & Evan took off their clothes and put on kaylee's old t-shirts, from her tomboy/goth stage, while fucking Ian put on her size 0 skinny jeans and tight ass sweater. He tried to fight me on everything today, whether it be the rules of straight edge, health care in the United States, or some shit about a Utopia.
dude seriously, a Utopia is fabricated up by man's dreams. It never has happend and it never will. In a world where corruption and greed rule the hearts and minds of many, there is no way perfection in the world will exsist. There is no use in even arguing a utopia, it's such a waste of breath, of words. I told him this and he kept running in circles. I told him that the difference between the American Government and those of say Britain or France is that we fear our government. We cower at the thought of revolting, but there are still few brave of us to walk the streets. Where as in France thousands march every day for a just cause, the government there fears their people, so they do almost anything they can too meet their needs.
Then we got on the topic of socialized healthcare, i.e. Canada vs. United States.
Canadians seem so selfless, they don't mind their tax dollars going to help someone in need. While if you're filthy rich in the United States the thought of paying for someone elses medical needs never crosses your mind. It seems to me as though people are far more united in other countries than in the UNITED states of America.
I'm totally going to get my ass kicked or something for talking about this.
Michael Moore's SICKO made me think, however biast, and so did all the arguments with Ian.
That's not to say America sucks, because it doesn't. We have so many oppourtunites here, more than most. We have, obviously, a lot more freedoms also. I'm very content here, so far. But nothings going to stop me to see if the grass is greener on the other side.
After that was all over I played him in a game of badmitten, needless to say I ruined him with my classy sportsman ship.
Amanda came over after, and we had so much fun. I can't say I've laughed that hard for such a long amount of time in one day, in a while. Sweet run-on sentence.
We stopped at her moms house and grabbed some money and went to snow mans. We both got regular vanilla ice cream cones topped with rainbow sprinkles. We than sat in her car and made rude faces at the people who stared at us eating. There was one woman in particular who just did not blink. She just kept staring at us. So Amanda and I started making obscene gestures with our ice cream cones, but only for a second before we laughed so hard Amanda spit freaking ice cream all over the car. slob she is, but i love my best friend. I guess you just had to be there to know how fun it was. We went back to the RPI feilds after and played some football. We destroyed each other's fingers with the football, gave up, and went back to my house. We had a horn contest with her Oldsmobile and kay's Ford. I say the Acheiva won because I hate fords, Mercury Mystiques or whatever. fuck them.
I still need to look up information on train shit. I've always wanted to go to the city by train, and ellie might come with me. I haven't seen her in so long!! I miss her a lot. I hope we can just hangout in central park with coffee or something and talk about the gap in between.
I'm so tired.
It's exercise time.
then Shower time.
I want to cuddle with someone again :(
I wish there was someone out there for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
gay there is, but I just haven't found him yet.
or he hasn't found me.