always scared
always thinking
always jinxing
always worrying.

I wish it would stop.
mental flips, need to think positively.
I don't know how, "history repeats itself," and I'm always afraid it will.

my brain is on fire.

Do you think there is a world where nothing exists, where the absence is we but the substance is our product.
The air is lagging with dingy hope and there are no movements...passerbys are shells of all the things we wanted to be.
No blank stares because blank is something so universal it doesn't exist, the same as if you say a word over and over and Over again until it's lost all meaning. It doesn't exist In the heart of the creatures who lurk this nothing; unrecognizable because recognition is a dream barely laced through fingers.
Is there a place where nothing is everything, but everything is not nothing. Feeling is obsolete becausetrust doesn't exist, where hearts don't learn to mend because they were never taught to ache. Words are shadows, dark spaces to fill the crippling voids of time. Is there a place where all you can see, are lips pulled gently showing the smiles to ease your thoughts down underground, beautiful and quiet bliss, where thoughts don't pierce too deep.
Is there a place where skin quivers at even the barest breeze, and the only thing that's real are the soft kisses resting on your surface.

gotta break break break break BREAK the cycle.
time to stop loving the ones who could never love me back.
time to be logical.

     “It'll destroy you if you try to make it mean anything to anyone but yourself.”

There is something about the way your eyes move around my face, and then up away to the sky.
They bring me shame, and longing, all in one.
I hope you can see the break in my eyes, that none of this is easy.
That no matter what, I can never hate you.
You'll be apart of my homesickness, of my heart and forever my head.
I already miss you.

I'm fighting Ethan.




And I take this as a win

yes. YES!

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brb, I died from laughing.

I think I've thought myself into a thoughtless state. I've thought too much about things I can't talk about and now I can't do either.
I'm stuck in here

“There is a woman who spent her life loving that evil creature: she died. I'm sure she's a saint in heaven right now. You are going to kill me the way he killed that woman.That is what's in store for all of us who have unselfish hearts.”

"Does it break my heart, of course, every moment of every day, into more pieces than my heart was made of, I never thought of myself as quiet, much less silent, I never thought about things at all, everything changed, the distance that wedged itself between me and my happiness wasn't the world, it wasn't the bombs and burning buildings, it was me, my thinking, the cancer of never letting go, is ignorance bliss, I don't know, but it's so painful to think, and tell me, what did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it."

i want to go home.

do you think about me as much as i think about you?

HITOTZUKI KAMI & SASU 'OMNI' from Louis Mitchell on Vimeo.

what the fuck happened.
where did i go?

Watch now.

It will slap you in the heart. I feel like everything I've ever worried about before is shit. because it is.

Hell is empty & all the devils are here.


-shakespeare

wake.
contradict.
dress.
caffeine.
question everything.
class.
work.
more caffeine.
negative thinking.
recognition.
reconstruction.
sleep.
repeat.

The Directv guy did light setup for meatloaf and iron maiden before he crossed paths over to satellite dishes. this guy ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuules.

I'd rather live in the waves.

I've walked this road before, and still it's not making any sense.