Saturday, February 28, 2009
GO FUCK YOURSELVES.
There is nothing behind your eyes but insecurities, and air. Mindless and craving attention, willing to fuck everyone over to get your way. You're selfish and inconsiderate, blind and deaf to what once was. You deserve what you got, and what you'll get.
Hurting me does not make you admirable, wanted, or "cool." Your loss, Your regret.
I should have trusted my friends. I should have took their warnings, I shouldn't have given anyone a chance. But oh silly me and my big heart. always getting fucked over.
You can't be that dumb to not see how wrong this is. whatever.
i'm better off without you, all of you.
fuck this place.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
I see your face and my spine curls, my skin crawls, and I become nauseated. Every reminiscence that's coupled with the sight of you, I become disgusted. Disgusted with what used to be your touch, your smell, the way you felt. Everything. You live your life in the saddest way I've ever seen. You're the reason I don't believe anymore.
I will find someone who actually deserves me. Deserves my attention and my time, because you certainly never did.
I don't believe in second chances.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Don't dwell on the future, it's out of my hands.
what's done is done, forget about my past. "
My past is where it belongs, the people who I left behind are gone for a reason. Most certainly on bad terms I've severed our ties, but in any case I'm thanking you from the bottom of my heart. What you put me through, what I learned is the most valueable thing I could ever posess. I'll carry these scars, these memories, and build the strongest armor with them. Building myself up with learned lessons from my mistakes and yours. I used to run on hate, pulsing through my veins I wanted nothing to do with anyone. I kept a distance, I judged with the most sincere rage. I aspired to be respected, but feared is what I ended up with. I started out silent and sweet, and I ended up getting hurt countless times. I thought living in rage would create a better world for me, a safety of hearts. Which part of it did, but I was counted out of great things. I didn't like meeting new people, I didn't like being nice. I'm trying now to embrace new oppourtunities. But I am going to keep my anger with me, It does not hold me down. I'm able to mold it into a saftey aspect more than a living habit. Open-hearted, Open-minded, I love to the fullest. One thing will always remain with me though;
If you screw up once, I'm severing ties, pushing you out of sight and out of mind.
As far as I'm concerned a person not putting effort into a friendship is not worth my time.
Kindergarden still teaches me the greatest thing anyone could have ever taught me;
Treat others the way you would like to be treated.
On a somewhat separate note, I will remain to be a tad bit cocky, because I am in love with the person I've become. Beauty is after the storm; my scars, trials and tribulations have so much beauty in them. They've created the person I am today, this moment in time. I couldn't be happier with myself, I love it.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
But hippocrate as I am; I really do wish Mitch was here for it. So I could snuff him.
We're going to have our own make up day though, I'm really excited!
I'm going to go clean up now, I just thought I'd write something in here, I haven't had any time to write down all my thoughts in here. I miss having a daily update, It makes juggling everything less stressfull. The more I write things down, the less I think about them.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
I need this for my bedroom.
To fall asleep below everynight, where my dreams rescue me from the worries I conjur up every day and night.
I discovered some artwork that I think is so adorable, and the mustache paintings make me think of bear. http://www.marcjohns.com/artwork25.html
Check it out!
Jarrod got Kaylee and I valentine presents, he's so sweet! He got me the most amazing (obnoxious card) sunglasses ever! haha we're going shopping winter break so he can give me a wardrobe makeover :) I always look awkard in pictures. But I loved my outfit. I wanted a pink dress or a red dress, but I didn't have time to find any so I just recycled. I loved the end result, I looked like a pin-up! at least that's what I was told. School is so easy lately, careful not to jinx myself. I'm half watching a movie where some girl's controlling boyfriend told her to bleach her hair and do it up like ms. monroe, and she went to touch it and her hair fell out. THAT SUCKS. I'm terrified of that happening to me. Everytime I do a touch up, it freaks me out.