Friday, April 10, 2009

No wonder people at school

find me weird.

I just wish people would step back and stop pointing their fingers.
You don't know what happens behind closed doors, you don't know what it can be like.
I'm quiet because I don't know how else to be. I'm sometimes angry, because I've delt with things so long, that venting a little releases the tension, the hurt. I dare you to walk a mile in my shoes and stay as strong as I have.
I'm not saying I have it bad. A missing drug addict dad, a missing little sister, A recovering drug addict sister with a no good boyfriend, and a family that is constantly putting me in the middle of their battles, seeing the worst overdose humanly possible without death, friends that've passed away from shitty parents or drugs.
Things are much worse for other people than me, I know this. And those people are the only ones that I can respect.
One girl accused me of being attention hungry because I'm open to talking about my life.
I talk about it, to not break down from it. To show other people that things can be worse, to not take for granted their lives or the people in it. I talk about it to show some kind of wisdom, some kind of hope. I don't give a shit about attention, I don't want it. I just want people to grow up and stop judging before they even pretend to know a thing about their "victims" life. To make them open their eyes and find that what they say about other people is usually wrong, far-off, and juvenile. I'm so tired of immaturity, of hopelessness.

I shine hope in every corner of my life, I live on it, I'm built of it. I'm usually a happy person, but there are times every few years where I need to vent. I apologize if I bring to much of it out publicly, but sometimes I can't help it.
Things always get better.
Things always get better.

Next time you feel like judging me, please take that into consideration.


  1. i love you
    you are in my most recent post under the name of "mysterious friend"

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  3. I'm trying to word this in a way where I don't sound stupid: I keep wanting to say "I know what you mean", but I know I don't really... I guess what I mean to say is, I understand how petty the people at school can be, and how the majority of them are so self-centered and just plain ignorant that they don't really know what's going on in the world - or even in their own town.

    I'm sorry people are low enough to make you feel this way - two more months and we're out! :)