and more fucking money.
I'm trying to figure out how i'm going to pay for school, rent/bills, car, personal, groceries, and everything in between. If California DOES happen, It really is all up to me to put everything in place. I NEED to stop procrastinating and being lazy, my mind always wonders back to the past, and i think about it more than I can think about my future. I know j.d. is reading this and I know he's going to say "but i'm here to help!" and I know you are ju, but I have to do some of this on my own. It'll help me grow up. Look how good everything turned out for you and you started off not knowing a soul in cali, and now youre all set. I want to have the struggle, I want to grow from my expeirences. It sounds so dumb because I want the hard way, So it'll help me figure out who I am and put my life together. But the other half of me is screaming "take the easy way!! find an easier way!!" but i'm so sick of being lazy. ughgjfklasdjfa. I'm so frustrated! But I'm destined to do something great with my life. I want to at least, so i'm going to make it happen.
On a lighter note, I love everything else about life right now. I honestly have no idea. I think since I broke up with mike I've had a surge of self-acceptance and self-respect. I grew a back bone and got rid of the one person I loved because He treated me like fucking shit. No matter how much I cared, or tried, he didn't. and He didn't care so I took it into my own hands and did what was right for me. I couldn't be happier. I don' t give two shits what anyone else could think or say about me, as long as I'm happy with myself, who the fuck cares?
I sound like a broken record. It's like every thing I write goes back to the same thing.
I bought p-nut a new toy the other day, and he's already chewed thru it's feet. Sierra's party was SO much fun last night! her cousin is a riot, shes so sassy. I wish I could have stayed but we can't drive past 9ish. so yeah.
okay. I have to clean my room before my mom rips my face off.