Sunday, January 11, 2009

im such a douchebag.

I'm drawing a blank. I know what I want to write, I just cant mend the words together to make it sound right. In six months, I'll be out of this house, of this city, of this state. 3,000 miles away from everything I know, everyone. I'm leaving my past, my regrets all behind. A new and exciting start. I'm not even sure what my future holds. It's a little like driving. When youre the passenger, and life is your driver. She's speeding, going 70 in a 30. and you're trying to keep your focus on one part of the view in front, but all the turns and shifts and swerves keep making you lose your point. So you're trying to stare at the future, trying to figure out what could possibly come next, and the car screams by the exit you should've taken. A little panic starts to creep up your spine, could we be lost now? are we ever going to make it home? the driver is calm while youre busy losing your mind. but there is always another exit, she says, always another way to find home. Life is full of twists and turns you should've taken, but its always building new roads to take. I want to discover and explore every single road. Yes, I'm nervous, I'll be on my own for real, for the first time. But i'm so excited to rise above every thing this cruel world throws at me. I'm excited to make something of myself, to show everyone nice kids DONT finish last.
California is a completly different everything. the people, the shows, the weather, just everything. I've got my best friend out there though, and I know he'll help me get my shit together, just enough push to get me out into the real world. I'm so happy I got jd to help me out, to motivate me. I feel like such a moocher, he's going to let me live with him right off the bat, and buy puppies! he's doing to much, i tell him this all the time but he's a stubborn little man. If you're reading this bean, then thank you, for the support and motivation, and help with everything. I can't wait to see you! My future thanks too.

My life. My choices. My happiness, it's all that matters.


  1. So there's no comments. At all.

    I bet people read this and just stalk your life, never commenting. I hope this post doesn't ruin your hope of having a blog with absolutely no comments.

    If you weren't nervous about moving and starting fresh, you wouldn't be human. :P

    Besides, who can pass up puppies? I mean, I can, but I'm more of a cat guy. >_>

  2. I didn't even know you had one of these!
    and puppies are way better than cats.