Monday, January 26, 2009


I feel so stupid, Like I get so excited meeting new people, and I think it comes off like too antsy. I don't really think before I speak, and it sometimes gets me into trouble. I don't mean to come off "weird," I just have a ton of energy and get wicked excited. Oh well I guess.
High school is sooooo dramatic. Ever since about 7th grade people have named me the quiet weird girl, or nothing at all because no one really knows i exsist. The only people who care are outside of school. Like seriously all of my best friends are like 19+. But they act like kids haha. I can't wait to be in California.
But anyway. I never really think about how to not be shy. It's just always been like that. It's not that I care what people think about me, I just don't know how to be loud. When i was in 1st grade I didn't know how to talk loud, what I thought was screaming was a whisper to everyone else so I had to go into speach therapy for a year. Not because I was dumb or had a lisp or a studder, just because I couldn't talk loud. It was rediculous. I just wish people were more accepting and less judgemental about the shy kids, we have feelings too!
I listened to outbreak in the car. A.S. is the best fucking song I have ever heard. ANTISOCIAL! (j.d., your turn). Dillan was in the backseat while i was singing military police and I think he was weirded out, not by my singing, but by kaylees fucking frightfull driving. I kept kicking him in the back of the knee when he stood in front of me. He's so easy to hurt! (i'm still not sorry dillan, you kept throwing swedish fish at me.) Kristen is so fun to hangout with. I think I want to have a party before I move to cali, and I'm making everyone come hangout. Old friends, new friends, future friends.
I wish I could go to the valentines dance, but I don't have a date. I just want to go to everything I can this senior year so I'm not a total nobody when I graduate. Jared is trying so hard to get me to go so he kaylee and I can "boogey down." He's a nerd haha. I'm not going as a third wheel. lame!
California is calling my name. My best friend lives too far away! :( But soon we'll be car dancing to signs of hope, who cares, and minor threat, and gorilla biscuits, and outbreak. and Kaylee and JEWlian are going to disapear for a few weeks because they'll be all over each other I'm sure, and we'll be like "yo man, that is not our style, let's go get some milkshakes...we're just a minor threat..." I'm so happy we're friends. I hope we stay this way forever. nothing will break this friendship, and i hope thats all we are forever, because you matter so much to me! prepare for emotional abuse and cartoon marathons!!! haha i'm an asshole.


  1. nothing will change i promise, a best friend is a life long commitment, atleast it is for me so you have nothing to worry about.
    Love you boo!

  2. Lmao, it's good to know I'm easy to hurt to you. lol. And I threw TWO swedish fish, I didn't realize it was bugging you till you said something lol.

    And the shy girls are the shit. It's like solving a mystery just to get to know em, which can be either extremely fun or horribly annoying lol. But never let it get to you, the people who are willing to put in the effort to get to know you are the ones who deserve to know you.

    About the whole dance thing, just go with some other friends who don't have a date and have fun. I had that same attitude about going to more shit this year, including the dance, but there's a slight problem with that; the only thing worse than being a third wheel, is unicycleing your way into that place. :) lol

    Oh yeah, Kay's driving was scaring the shit out of me lol. One of my biggest fears is falling out of a moving car, I wanted to kill her for that. But on a side note, that night was actually pretty fun. I've been meaning to text you guys to make plans to chill again, but my phone has been dead since that night, so we should make plans when I get the damn thing charged. later. :)