Friday, March 27, 2009

weird mood.

Somewhere on a beach, I'm standing alone. The wind brushes up against me, and it sends chills down my spine. The waves are hurling machines of power, and I think of the undertoe. It's unforgiving, and yet so peacefull underneath. It's an innocent act of nature really, It's been here before any of us, Just fitting the pattern it's had for all these years. You don't hear anything but water, but still the fear rushes over you. I start to imagine every person thats crossed this path i'm in. The foot prints that are being eaten up by the water, I wonder where the person is, and what theyre doing. I'm hoping with everything that they are not alone, that wherever they are, they're comfortable in happyness. Every wave tumbling down over the sand steals my breath. I look out towards the horizion, where stars have been splashed out all over. They're burning bright, and I'd like to think that somewhere amoung them, someone is looking back at me. The water reaches my toes and I dig them into the sand, My thoughts are tangled in the moon, being cast out with every roll of the wave, with a new one being sent in. The night is slipping by me, I'm watching it creep by. I want to hold on tight and never let this image go, but I know soon the moon will be gone and the sun will rise. Right now more than ever I'm longing for my dreams to be fufilled. All I ever really wanted to was to love someone, to care for them. On this beach I want to have someone to hold their hand. I want to put my hand on their cheek and look into their eyes. Pull them in close, stand on my tippy toes and kiss them on the forehead, then turn and face the world together. But here and now, where the darkness is spilling over, and the only source of light is from the moon, I am living for myself. I brace myself for the first cracks of orange and deep yellow to rise up from the oceans. The sun will be low and waiting to peak its rays up from whatever vacation it's been on. And I'll have to face a day where everyone runs around hating everyone else. Living in fear of what people are thinking about them. Mucking around following the same routine thats been engraved into our brains. Wake to work, and nothing but. Petty drama and fights that won't last, or won't matter in months. Who cares, who gives a shit what anyone else is thinking about you? This is your life. This is your time, no one can ever take it from you.This is my time, This is my life. I'm never taking you or anything for granted. I've had struggles, fights and rage, but life is always worse off for someone else. It's just up to you to find the beauty in whatever situation your in. I live in hope, It's my core. Sometimes it sets me up for a fall, but I trust in it regardless. I don't care what you think of me, I don't care what kindof shit comes from your mouth. I'll take care of myself. I'll make it through everything the world throws at me.
"Just love the world that won't love you back."


  1. this was beautiful. exactly what i am thinking at this very moment! seriously I want to read this over and over again. you are amazing pebbles.

  2. We've talked about this brit, I hate the saying that there is always somebody worse off. What if you are the somebody who is in that worst of positions? how th fuck would you feel if somebody said that? lol.

    Being alone, if only for a moment in time, can strengthen us. It allows you to trust your gut that much more. Never let it get to you. I personally love being with somebody I can care about, it's one of the best feelings in the world, but I'm used to being alone, and not in a bad way. I trust my gut and I'm learning more and more to trust the advice of others, and it's a balance I plan to perfect. I want to find a person I can truely care about too, but sometimes it's just not the right time. Or, story of my life; right person, wrong time.