Summer days and lonely nights.

This is what my life has been consisting of for a few weeks now.

All day I'm surrounded by friends, laughing, having fun. We'll stay out until the night is almost over, until the morning reaches us. But then I come home, to an empty, quiet room. Everyone is already asleep, dreaming the best dreams they can. Side by side with their love.

So I come home and open the curtains, raise the blinds. I have my feet up on my drawer, biting on my pen cap, my nervous habit. I look out and see the dark sky speckled with stars. The moon is thrown over the top of it all, huge and looking down on this quiet city. I can see the top of the trees from the park across the street, they're bare. The leaves are on the ground, waiting to be piled up and jumped into by all the little kids. I have the t.v. on, listening to the infomercials about the "Magic Bullet," or "Hip Hop Abs." I'm not really paying attention to the overly tan, overly excited, overly smiley people talking about little machines, or dance moves that can "turn your life around." I'm sitting here looking out the window, waiting for something exciting to happen, while I dream about being anywhere but here. I've got my graffiti written all over my walls, and the only thing I want to do is outline it all in gold. Staying Gold. Forever.

When is the boy of my dreams going to come along?

When is this job going to call me?

When is the boredom of night going to stop?

When are my thoughts ever going to rest and let me sleep a full 8 hours.

I'm not an insomniac, I'm just hopefull.

So anyway.

Today I had to do a presentation for my English Class. The assignment was to go through our books and choose either a short story or a poem, and then read and discuss it to the class. I choose the obvious, Robert Frost, "Nothing Gold Can Stay." NOT because all the "hardcore" kids have it tattooed on their bodies. NOT because it's a popular poem from The Outsiders, (though that is an amazing book). But because I love the meaning behind it. I love the message in it. But I'm going to step up, I'm not going to watch the greatest things of my life wither away like the flower, or subside to leaf, something lower, or something unchanged then from what it should be. I'm going to try my hardest to make my dreams come true. I'm going with full force, and I'm throwing this decietfull fucking cruel world every fucking ounce of hope I have at it. Nothing will bring me down, Nothing can fucking break me. I've got my friends, I've got my dreams, and I've got this everlasting hope, Things always get better.

always.