Friday, July 17, 2009

so fresh and so clean clean.

I just got home from a three day vacation. I went to Preston Hollow, possibly my favorite place in the entire world. It's pure mountains, the green stretches for days. Animals roam the roads living I could get lost there and be completely content. My lungs opened up for the first time, and instead of spitting venom in my words, they were lined with a hopefull, more relieved sound. I want to be sweet again, I'm sick of being bitter. Sick of disapointments, being let down, not being good enough what have you. I know my worth, and I know that there is someone who deserves me for everything I am. I need to let go of all my anxiety and embrace my hope again. I'm just going to focus on picking up the peices, build back up the foundation of what I was once. Loosen my grip, snap my spine back forward. Keep my head up and my eyes unveiled. Raise my sights higher than they ever were, and breathe in my fresh new beginning. No more precarious living, no more hiding true speech.
I gotta redirect my focus, back onto getting an apartment. No more worrying about being single, wanting someone to cuddle with. It'll happen in its time. That person will find me when he wants me, or fate will run its course. What's meant to be will be, and as of now I need to become the person I aspire to be.

"Become the person you would most like to spend the rest of your life with."

This is my intention, this is my wish and this is my undying faith in hope.

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