Thursday, March 18, 2010


My heart is swollen with white lights of hope. I lay here this night, spine anchored to the bed, eyes fixated on the blackness above me. The tides of anxiety that my lungs give birth too sway in and out past my lips, above my body. Soft whirring of the fan, casting away shadows that lurk beside me. Roll my neck to see a light from my window, where the blue is swimming into black, where the sun picked holes to peak through stars. I wonder if this could ever be enough, the way the four corners fold me into a world where thought and heart are in a constant rat race. Who will win the battles outside these walls, could there ever be unity apart from this room, or even inside of me? Feel the pulse of addiction run through my body, can you see it through my skin? My rib cage is hiding a well carved out of the sweetest stone, dug to find water rolling with gold, the edges furiously pounding with benevolence against the earth inside. It's starting to spill over, and even the moon can't save me now. Dragging pebble by pebble into the pit of my stomach, where clemency meets the memories of you. I just need a strong sigh, one that can exhale hail storms.

You make my stomach ache in the sweetest way possible. You give my lips a new sensation with every thought of your hands and your lips. There is another story behind your gaze, and I fear that I will someday come to know it.

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