Monday, March 15, 2010

My mind, My stride, My life, My time is consumed with a thousand thoughts.

I think too much, I really do. And my mouth is too slow to catch up to my brain, moving slow like a thousand ages of history were trying to pass through my lips. My brain is the rising tide swallowing up every ship that seems even the least bit directed in deterring negative thoughts. The flock of swallows from my heart got lost somewhere in my lungs, and whenever I speak feathers come out masking everything I want to say in stupid little delicate words, when what I long to say are as crushing as anchors, dragging hundreds of years of earth along with it.

I need to win against myself in this one. I need to train my mind to a positive tune.

"....In this world, they choose to see me,
they choose to see me
like a setting sun

so it's up to me,
i have to see me,
i have to see me
like the rising one."

I am my own worst enemy.
This is how it will and always remain, and the more I worry about other people's intentions the more I step on split ends.
People are going to be stupid, They are going to lack a respect for me and my happiness/relationships, it's the fact that if the one's that I so truly care about go along with it, then maybe they were never worth it from day one.

But I really feel like this boy is different. He's the first person I've been able to trust in ages, absolute ages.
Things that would usually weird me out don't with him, I don't find myself living in a constant state of approval from him.
I'm falling.
I'm scared.
I'm so happy.

So people who read this, if any at all, please just respect me and leave it alone.
Don't interrupt something that I've been craving for forever, please.
and if you're that heartless than you can burn in hell with your greedy worthless heart.


  1. Lady, I don't even know you but we are totally in the same boat right now. You are the only person that you need to make happy.. fuck what other people say or think. If this dude brings delight into your life, enjoy it!

  2. Awww that just made me so happy, thank you so much!