I reach out so much. My arms are so heavy with the burden of carrying all this love. This love for the world and the people in it, this ability to care more than most.
Not once did I ever question the way I felt about things, I never thought that wanting to give someone everything would drive most away.
It's like I've spent my entirety searching for a hand to hold, for some slight bit of compassion. And I get a quaint facade of it, led on by all means until the floors pulled our from under me and I land right on my heart.
It's all my fault, for thinking into things so much. And maybe these words scare people, but at least I can say I'm honest. I am not afraid to spill these words out because I'd rather it this way then participating in "the game."
At least I'm a little closer than most.
I know I deserve more.
I've been told since day one that I deserve the world, that I'm a rare kind of girl and I trust in these words.
I'll carry a specific person's message with me always in the back of my mind; "a girl with looks like yours and mind to match, is so rare. Any man will be lucky to have you, it would be an honor if anything."
I'll miss you, and every single time I start to sink in self doubt, I will think of you.
R.I.P. John <3